A moose marriage

Ever been in a situation that was so painfully embarrassing for someone else and they had no clue?

Fox and I attended a wedding this weekend for one of her friends from college. He was marrying.... someone we thought he shouldnt. Since there was a little tension, we knew it wasnt going to be the greatest event ever. However we had no idea that they were about to do just about everything wrong you can do (in my book). We stopped taking 'wedding pictures' and started 'blog pictures' because there was no way I could resist blogging this fiasco.

It hit us pretty quickly once the ceremony started. We accidentally sat on the brides side because we were almost late enough to be locked out. The ceremony was in a huge baptist church, similar in size to the church I grew up going to. All the usual things were in place: unity candles, mothers who couldn't light them, 14 year old trumpet players who... needed some practice, etc. By the way, what woman needs a horn to announce her entrance to her wedding? Didn't that go out of style like 300 years ago? While the minister is going through the routine of marriage and Christ, he somehow steps up a bit through the two of them and became what I can only describe as one of those people you see on the infomercials at 3:30am when you've got the flu and can't sleep. If you've ever gone to a Baptist church for a special Christmas program you know what Im talking about. We got another lecture about how great these two were and how Godly, blah blah. Its only amuzing because we knew not only were they probably still hung over from the last nights party but we would soon be moving the party to the Moose Lodge.

Yes you read correctly, a Moose Lodge. We walked in and got hit with a wave of the stench I can only relate to my 92 year old neighbor with Emphysema who never leaves the house or cleans. The photographer taking couple photos as we come in has a little Cannon point and shoot camera. The place however was decorated nicely, reminded me of my middle school cafeteria for the 8th grade dance. At this point you know you must stay away from the wine and go with beer. I was right because they had the good old gallon jug (with the little handle) of something pink. We had a previously frozen dinner for dinner. Frozen cordon blue, frozen twice baked potato, and frozen green beens. I will say however the rolls were not frozen!

The night was continually filled with an annoying DJ who had you playing napkin games, kissing and hugging all those strangers at your table and not letting anyone dance. They did however let people dance the last 30min of this 5 hour event. The song that set me over the limit was... Soulja Boy. Remember this is a mix of Catholics and Baptists. Not only were the 10 years teaching the 20 somethings the dance but also the mother of the groom was doing the dance. I asked the groom if he understood what the song was about and he gave me a quick 'yeah' while hopping back to the other side. That was the point where we couldnt take it anymore. We wished we had not got a hotel room that night and just driven to see my parents.

Good luck on your Godly marriage!